


Signals

by Solitae



Series: New Kirkwall (Modern AU) [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-28
Updated: 2013-05-28
Packaged: 2017-12-13 05:25:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solitae/pseuds/Solitae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TW: discussion of rape and coercion</p><p>Lils recently was trying to explain to Nate why his entire relationship with Kahrin is problematic (to put it mildly), and it stirred up a lot of things about her own history, especially when he didn’t understand. Now she's trying to sort out what happened with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Signals

Lils stared blankly at the pages as she flipped through Weekly Thedas News. Not even the story of an ogre sighting (complete with fuzzy pictures!) near Cumberland caught her attention. She let it fall onto the futon next to her and stared out the window, worrying the stone ring on her little finger.

  
Quick, quiet footsteps on the stairs crept into her hearing, and she glanced at the door before the knock rang out.  
  
“If you can’t pick that lock, I’ll eat my shoes,” Lils called and curled tighter into the futon.  
  
She closed her eyes and listened to the tools in the lock while she hugged her knees to her chest. When she heard it give, she glanced up. “Hey, Bela.”  
  
Bela slipped in and ran her hand over the lock. “Finally got a new one, chickadee? That one takes a bit more.”  
  
Lils nodded. “Seemed like a good idea.”  
  
Bela lifted an eyebrow at her, and Lils shrugged.  
  
“Mind if I sit?”  
  
Lils shook her head and scooted over to make room. Bela sunk down next to her and draped an arm over the back of the futon. Neither of the said anything, and it was only when Bela’s hand brushed over hers that Lils realized she was toying with the ring again. With a sigh, she let go of it and slid closer to Bela.  A little of the tension eased from her as Bela wrapped her arms around her, and she found herself resting her head against Bela’s chest, her eyes loosely closed.  
  
More of it slipped away when Bela smoothed her hair, and by the time she’d pulled out the ties of Lils’ pigtails, Lils was shivering, her face buried in Bela’s breasts. Her breathing wavered as Bela slowly raked her nails over Lils’ scalp and down her neck. The firm hand on her back had her curling tighter into Bela.   
  
Bela’s lips touched her hair as she whispered, “Talk to me, chickadee. You’re all in knots.”   
  
Everything showed on her face, she knew, and she kept it hidden against Bela as her mouth worked. Words wouldn’t come out. Her throat felt solid, and no amount of moving her lips brought them. It was hard enough to get air. She`d already said so much in the last few days, exposed too much, and that clutching at her throat begged her to be quiet. No more risks.  
  
Bela stayed quiet, running a soothing hand over her hair.   
  
“I fucked him.” The words came out between gritted teeth. “He said all that  _shit_ . And I had  _fucked_ him. More than once. I’m so stupid.”  
  
Another shudder wrenched her, and somehow Bela’s shirt was wet beneath her cheek. Lils’ eyes screwed tightly closed as Bela made a low sound, her hold turning protective. “Did he hurt you?” Bela’s voice took on an edge, one that could carve Nate into tiny unrecognizable bits.   
  
Lils swallowed hard and shook her head. “No. No, not like…” Her teeth ground in frustration. “Not  _that_ . Everyone keeps asking me that, and it’s not that!”   
  
“Then what is it?” Bela’s voice kept Lils together, and her fingers twisted in Bela’s shirt.  
  
“I  _missed_ it. I missed why Laica didn’t like being around him. I missed that he could do that to Kahrin. I missed what his fucking daddy did to him. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t …I didn’t…I see these things. You know I do.  _You_ wouldn’t have missed it.”  
  
“Mmm, I’m not sure you did, kitten.”   
  
“I  _did_ .”  
  
“I recall someone telling me to get the boat ready.” Bela’s fingers drifted through her hair.  
  
“That was different.” Bela’s breasts muffled Lils. “Couldn’t let her disappear.”   
  
“You didn’t miss that.”  
  
“It’d be pretty sodding hard to miss. She was  _gone_. ” Another shudder shook Lils, and she felt Bela looking at the top of her head.   
  
“Mmm, true. But you hadn’t known her that long, and you were sure they’d need help.”  Bela’s lips brushed her hair. “And you were right. How long had you known them then?  
  
Lils shrugged. “Dunno. Met them at the show opening. Wait. No, I met Kahrin before that. She brought back Laica’s phone. Met Nate at the show.”  
  
“Not that long then. What’d you think of him when you met him?”  
  
“Had a stick up his arse.”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Was pissed that Kahrin was flirting with Anders. He told me they were ‘not dating’. But he was keeping a really close sodding eye on them.”  
  
Bela made a considering sound and twisted a strand of Lils’ hair around her finger. “So what happened?”  
  
“They left.” Lils shrugged again. “Made him antsy, so I talked to him.”  
  
“About that?”  
  
Lils snorted and rolled her head to the side. It was getting hard to breathe. “Maker’s tits, no. He  _tried_ to talk about it, but that was the last thing he needed to talk about. Showed him the show, talked about him modeling for Kathil, music, that sort of stuff.”  
  
The noncommittal sound from Bela made Lils lift her eyes. “Doesn’t sound like you’re missing much there, chickadee. How’d you end up tumbling him? Stick-up-the-arse isn’t usually your type.” Bela met her eyes. “Neither is possessive.”  
  
Lils blinked and murmured. “Thought it might get the stick out of his arse, I guess. Thought he needed some fun. Thought he could  _be_ some fun if he wasn’t so sodding focused on someone who didn’t want him.”   
  
“So you thought the two of you could have some fun if you distracted him from Kahrin? And Kahrin too?”  
  
Lils nodded as Bela pressed her lips to her hair and whispered, “Doesn’t sound like you missed much to me, chickadee.”  
  
“But I …”  
  
“Details. You got to the heart of it, that he would stop Kahrin from doing what she wanted and drew him away.” Bela’s warm fingers lifted her chin, and Lils reluctantly met her eyes. “And you had a bit of fun doing it.  But if you want to keep beating yourself up about how stupid you are…”   
  
“I hate you sometimes.” Lils batted at her hand with a grumble, but the tension eased in her jaw, and she tilted her head up, her lips softly brushing over Bela’s. “Thanks.”  
  
“Anytime,” Bela purred, her fingers shifting in Lils’ hair to pull her deeper into the kiss. Lils unfolded, sliding over to straddle Bela’s lap, and soon there was no more room for conversation. 


End file.
